I thought that since a few people have mentioned wanting to read River's diary, we might as well write some passages that we think should be in it!

I will gladly admit to being hopelessly romantic. The Doctor, however, will refuse to the point of denying that any one concept of romance is the correct one, due to the sheer number of species out there. Nevertheless, we always have some absolutely breathtaking dates.
Last night was breathtaking in a slightly different sense of the word. I laughed so hard that I had to gasp for air. I have had many, many dates with this man, and he always took me someplace beautiful to the senses. Then last night he shows up, acts like he's discovered the single best piece of information in our entire universe, and when we land he announces proudly, "I've discovered coffee!"
I was in stitches. All this time, and he has never had coffee. He's tried every type of drink he's encountered. But not coffee. And of all the places in the world to get coffee, he chose Earth's biggest and most commercial coffee shop chain.
And so I went on a date to a coffee shop with a man who most certainly does not need the caffeine.
-River Song